She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i dont even know how to be here
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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