From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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