im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
