you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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