I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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