Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
