i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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