ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
