I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
