well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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