Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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