He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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