That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
