Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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