it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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