I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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