Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
