tell your sister to shave her snatch
zippers are such a cool invention
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
