No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
