So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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