I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
