Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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