wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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