I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
