I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
