Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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