I'm going to jail i love you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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