well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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