Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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