she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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