watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
