My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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