can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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