just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
