I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sarcasm needs its own font
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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