just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
