if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
