i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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