I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dignity is for republicans.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize