accomplished twins. life is a go
She's the barista slut.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
