I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize