in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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