69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love having hate sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
