i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
