there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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