Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
