He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
