He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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