Your dad touched me again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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