If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
