Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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