The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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